So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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