So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
