It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
