so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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