last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
