i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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