he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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