K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
