I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
