Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
