New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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