sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i think my tv is drunk
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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