What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
