woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
ugly people sure do ruin things
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
