I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
