She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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