I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
