Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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