My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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