hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
