Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
