Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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