when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
