Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
