Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
