Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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