I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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