so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
