This is not my ceiling
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
