yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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