just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
