I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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