Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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