You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
