i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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