So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
