Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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