shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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