obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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