my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
