yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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