i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
