white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
