like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
