imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize