I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize