good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
