Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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