So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
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