so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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