if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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