if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
